Personal Debts Are The WORST
I think I have made it clear that I am not a fan of debt. Debt of any kind is something I try to avoid, I don’t like the feeling of that weight on my shoulders. I don’t like the feeling of something hanging over my head. Whether it is a credit card, a mortgage or 20 bucks I owe my sister, I can’t live with that feeling. Yet, so many people live like this every day.
They walk through life owing money to everyone under the sun and it never seems to affect them. They owe on their house, they owe on their cars, they owe on their credit cards and they never even bat an eyelash to it. For me, it feels like a giant elephant is sitting on my shoulders, for others, it’s just a way of life.
How do people end up with this way of thinking? How does a person enter into a world where owing money to people, banks and friends is acceptable? How do we even begin to think that ASKING for money is acceptable? We have had loans, credit cards, a mortgage, and all the usual debts of life. We can now proudly say we are debt free but the mortgage and that is a wonderful feeling. We owe nothing to anyone. We have never, nor will we ever borrow money from friends or family. I just could never bring myself to do it. Maybe it is pride, respect or something else all together, but I would never ask a friend for more than a few bucks. And if I ever did borrow, it would be my top priority to pay off that debt above all others. Why? Respect. I respect my family, my friends and anyone else that would be kind enough to part with their hard earned money to help me out if I were in trouble. And that is just it, just because someone is willing to give you money, it does not mean they don’t need it.
I have a close friend who borrowed money from her son’s employer to pay for his college tuition. Yes, it was very nervy of her to ask, but he still said yes. He liked the son and he wanted to see him continue his education. Two years later the debt has never been repaid and both the mother and son act as if nothing has happened. They owe this kind man $6,000 and they seem to think it is no big deal. Maybe they feel this way because he is the company owner and must be “rich” and doesn’t need the money, maybe they feel this way because they feel the world just “owes” them something. Really, I haven’t a clue what they feel, I just know they don’t care one bit that this man loaned them his money from his own personal cash and they have never repaid the debt.
This makes me sad to think that people act this way. They show no respect for a man whom went out of his way to help them in a time of need and it is worse so because they don’t care. I feel that if you owe someone money, the debt should be repaid, the debt should never be left on the table at any costs. Karma? What goes around comes around and this can only turn out worse than it already is.
What do you think? Do you feel OK when you owe someone money? Do you think the people in this story are right, wrong or indifferent? I’d love for everyone to weigh in.
Topics: Finance & Money |
March 21st, 2008
I am debt free but the mortgage now, and boy does it feel GREAT! In fact, we just had a $800 drop in income for a few months, but we can handle it because we only have our mortgage, utilities, and grocery and gas to pay for. I highly recommend trying it! (the debt free but mortgage idea, not he income drop)
March 21st, 2008
The story about the woman and her employer is very disturbing. I really hope there’s more to it, like she’s paying him back via a deduction from her salary or agreed to work overtime with extra pay or the son works there for a reduced rate in the summer or *something.*
March 21st, 2008
CFO-Yes, the story is VERY disturbing and NO they aren’t making any efforts to pay it off. In fact, it isn’t the woman’s employer, it is the SON’S! she took it upon herself to just call the kid’s boss and ask for 6K. The boss gave the money out of his own personal checking, so no payroll deductions can be made. Very sad, very crazy that they would do that and I really feel bad for the employer- what an awkward position to be put in!
March 21st, 2008
I don’t like owing money to anyone. I often have the situation where a group of friends goes in together to buy a present for someone. I always try to pay AS SOON AS POSSIBLE because I’m afraid I’ll forget to pay them back!
I can’t believe about the woman and her son. I worry about the message the woman is teaching her son. It’s horrible!
March 21st, 2008
Quick question I thought of. Was it made clear that it was a loan and not a gift?
March 21st, 2008
Becky-YES it was made clear that the money was being BORROWED…very sad and yes, she is sending a terrible message to her son!
March 21st, 2008
I don’t borrow anything that I can’t return. I am weird that way. LOL
Nice blog. I dropped in to see just you tonight. I love saving money and getting a good freebie. You have grea ones posted.
March 21st, 2008
the woman has no class or shame and the owner should get a attorney and sue for the 6000.00 plus interest, they have taken advantage of his kindness
March 21st, 2008
I can’t stand it when people take advantage of other people just because they may be wealthy there is no excuse for not paying them back.
March 22nd, 2008
savingadvice-I agree, there is no excuse!
March 23rd, 2008
[…] love this post Personal Debts are the WORST at Mommy Gets Paid. Good food for thought. It’s nice to see debt makes others twitchy […]
March 23rd, 2008
I have loaned money to friends in the past, and although they swore they would pay me back, they never have. I don’t loan money anymore, but if I did I would just consider it a gift and leave it at that. Nothing comes between friends faster than money (or women, if you’re talking about two guys, but that’s another story!)
March 23rd, 2008
I agree with everything you said. It took a long time for us to get debt free except for the mortgage, and I love the feeling. Also would never lend to a friend; did once, regretted it for a long time.
March 25th, 2008
“But the mortgage” - I know plenty of spendthrifts that are “debt free” but for “the mortgage”.
Simply put, they refinance all their credit cards, auto loans and other debts under the mortgage.
So nowadays, even saying, I’m debt free, “but the mortgage” has become meaningless.
Oh, by the way, I too am debt free but the mortgage (less than $20k remaining).
March 26th, 2008
I think loans to friends and/or family are a bad idea in most cases. If you do it, make sure you pay it back because nothing can get in the way of family unity quicker than money.
I had a similar discussion recently about how much you share about your financial situation with family/friends.
Money can be such a touchy subject!
March 27th, 2008
Ohmygosh I agree so STRONGLY with you. And how could those people not pay?! I owed my mom $500 for about a year when I was younger and it made my whole relationship with her weird until I paid it back. I’m so glad you wrote this. Thank you!
April 2nd, 2008
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April 2nd, 2008
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April 2nd, 2008
I would have to agree that personal debts are the worst. I have had to borrow money from a friend and it did weigh heavy on my mind until I could pay it back. I can’t even imagine borrowing from my boss and not paying it back. How could you go to work every day and NOT have it weigh on your conscience?
April 2nd, 2008
CindyS-So true…going to work everyday owing your boss money must feel like a giant weight on your shoulders, I am not sure that I understand how someone could do that!
April 3rd, 2008
[…] Gets PAID: Personal Debts are the Worst. I’m no fan of debt - and I certainly am not a fan of taking advantage of […]